Daddy, what’s a “hoe?”

“Don’t be upset when your children choose a different path than what you planned for them, because at some point, you also had to find your way.” Dr. BLR

 

At some point in a parent’s life, they will be asked a difficult question by their child. I didn’t know when one of my kids would ask, but I’d hoped it would be in their teens. When it was my turn to try to answer my kid’s question, I was going to answer as truthfully as possible. Unfortunately, my son caught me off guard one time and straight up asked me, “Dad, what’s a hoe?” 

I looked at him with utter amazement because he caught me off guard. I tried to remain stoic and not let any expression give him the impression he had asked a “bad” question. I had two responses I thought would put the question to bed. The first was, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Go ask your mom.” The second was, “Son, from what I’ve been told, it’s a woman or a man who has had many partners.” So there. That should have been enough, but he is very inquisitive, and I knew he would press on.   

This was a teachable moment I wasn’t going to let pass. From the day I realized he could understand somewhat complex issues, I told him I would never lie to him about anything and, more importantly, that I wanted him to ask me any question he had. However, this was a very specific question, and I had no idea where he had come up with it. Had he overheard it from his classmates? Had his mother put him up to it? Or had he heard it on those silly-ass YouTube videos? So, I asked. Fortunately, it was the latter. Note to self, monitor that damn YouTube channel.

Now, what do I say? Okay, here is what I told him. Son, a hoe is a farming tool used to dig up the ground and plant vegetables. It has a long handle that attaches to a steel blade. By the way, it was used back in the day when my mom and her siblings had to work in the fields and gardens in the South, where they were born. The incredulous look he gave me told me I had to come up with something better. 

He exclaimed, “That is not what they said in the YouTube video!” Damn, I was cooked. After he explained what he thought it meant, I agreed and said, “Well, that is a different definition of that word, so both are correct.” 

This conversation would be a precursor to hopefully many more conversations about things he wanted to know. My daughter has also taken up the mantle of asking inquisitive questions about a wide range of topics. I am happy they are asking me instead of relying on what their friends or, again, YouTubers are saying in their attempts to pull in more viewers. 

In the end, I am not ignorant and am fully prepared when either of my kids wants to revisit a similar question to the one posed. I imagine it will come up in their teenage years. Yes, I will reiterate my definition, but when asked, “Dad, were you a hoe?” I will confidently say, “It will depend on who you ask.” That will be my response, and I am sticking to it. LOL.