Talk to the young

 

"One day, you must explain to your younger self why you did what you did." Dr. BLR

 

When I look back on my upbringing, I’m fortunate that life was a bit simpler then. When things got stressful, I’d go outside to run or play football or basketball, whatever physical activity I could, to burn it off. It was all that straightforward. There was no need to be in the house because it was boring as hell, but that was then. Now, the newer generations have many things to keep them engaged. I can’t say I blame them, but knowing what I know now, I feel sorry for them. They have so much more to contend with.

I tell my students that if they believe they have an addictive personality, they should never use drugs. Fortunately, weed has been the usual drug of choice for this generation. I find that many of them struggle with stress and quickly develop anxiety in response to the stressors in their lives. I understand because life is tough. However, needing to get high at a young age to deal with everyday issues can be problematic. I won’t be a hypocrite because my generation experimented as well. Still, with the recent state-level legalization, many young people will have a valid excuse to get high. Mom, Dad, it’s legal. SMH

The days of watching music videos on television are long gone. My conversations with my students now focus on the importance of limiting their time on technology. Computers and cellphones are the bane of a parent’s life. Many young people are addicted to content on their smartphones and tablets. Granted, a lot can be learned through independent research, but with so much misinformation cropping up, they won’t know which way is up after spending a few hours locked in. I know it won’t be easy because I, too, spend an inordinate amount of time on my gadgets, but I am an adult who’s a rock’s throw away from full retirement, while they have their entire lives ahead of them. I also tell them not to engage with controversial people online because their comments may come back to haunt them. I base this on what is happening today: prospective employers are conducting a thorough review of job seekers' social media activity. 

Another concern I have for the next generation is the advertising of gambling and the individuals who promote it. This ties back to my initial concern about addictive personalities. I’ve seen LeBron James, Kevin Hill, and Shaquille O’Neal promote online gambling, which I find despicable because they don’t stand up for anything that might upset their corporate daddies. These Black males have more than enough money, yet they choose to promote an activity that can get young people addicted. Many young people look up to these sports and entertainment personalities, but I have no idea why. I’ve asked my students whether they gamble online. Invariably, nearly every male student, and a few women on occasion, say they actively gamble. I then ask where they do it, and they say it’s either on their cellphones or their computers. Adding insult to injury, these gambling sites provide a 1-800 number to call if you have a gambling problem. Young people have difficulty finding employment that pays enough to support their lifestyle. I don’t blame them for looking to make a quick buck because the “struggle is real.” However, going down this path may lead to degenerate gambling, and who knows what else. 

To my dismay, I’ve learned that many young men are increasingly finding ways to express themselves online. I recently became aware of the term “Incel.” I must admit I had no idea what it meant. A brief Google search clarified matters, but I was still confused. According to the definition, an incel is “a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active.” In the real world, they would be called haters or losers. But you don’t want to upset them because their behavior can be unpredictable. For example, Elliot Rodger, who is alleged to have taken the term incel mainstream when he murdered six people in California and injured fourteen others during the 2014 Isla Vista killings. He then uploaded a lengthy manifesto that cited his influence by the incel and manosphere subcultures before committing suicide. Again, another term that went right over my head. What the fuck is a “manosphere?” I had to lean on the internet for clarification. “The roots of the manosphere lie in the men’s liberation movement of the 1970s and 1980s, which began as a critique of the limiting nature of traditional male gender roles. However, in the 1970s, the nascent men’s rights movement began to attribute men's problems to feminism and female empowerment. Media scholar Debbie Ging posits that the growth of the World Wide Web has enabled the spread of "virulent" anti-feminism, misogyny, and associated violent rhetoric.”

So, there it was. A group of men’s feelings were hurt because women asserted their rights. While I understand that times were different, I question how such a movement became popular among today’s young men, who are probably close to their moms. Among social media influencers such as Andrew Tate, Myron Gaines, Walter Weeks, and Hamza Ahmed, some young men have lost their way and find the content these influencers promote appealing. I wonder where these young men’s fathers are?

Another issue that needs addressing, especially today, is the political ideology of today’s youth. I am all for young people getting involved in politics and paying particular attention to the individuals who represent their constituents. Unfortunately, since President Barack Obama’s election and reelection, politics have become increasingly divisive. Many young people supported the first Black president, but soon the winds of change swept in, and the improbable occurred. Donald J. Trump became president. His ascent has disrupted the old ways of party politics. Trump’s “Make America Great Again” slogan resonated with predominantly white young men, but a fringe group of “others” bought into his message as well. Politics aside, I believe the young men saw Trump’s disdain for women’s personal space as acceptable, which solidified their inclusion in the manosphere. This is unacceptable. Parents must be aware of the content to which children are exposed on social media platforms. Moreover, we must not overlook the sit-down conversations at the dinner table that are often ignored in our busy lives.