Daddy, what’s white privilege?

“You must teach your children to learn about the struggles of different groups so they don’t grow up thinking oppressors are kind people.” Dr. BLR

 

If you ever have children, you will need to prepare them to face the realities of the “real world,” no matter your race, ethnicity, religion, or sexuality. In a world that requires understanding multiple perspectives, you must ensure you teach your children to recognize certain truths that they might not learn in school. Unfortunately, books are being removed from library shelves because someone is uncomfortable with the truth, but nothing beats exposing them to real-life scenarios. 

The other day, I went to my local CVS to get a prescription refill. The first person I spoke with was a white woman, and she said it would take about 30 minutes. The pharmacy line was very long, so I understood. I didn’t want to go home and then return, so I told her I’d wait. I looked to my right and saw three empty chairs, so I signaled for my kids to go toward them. 

After settling in, we chatted casually and looked through childhood photos on my phone, laughing at the memories they held. My son got up from his chair and moved closer to see my phone. No sooner had he stood up than a white man, perhaps a few years older than me, asked if he could sit down. Since I also have knee and back problems, I quickly told my son to sit on my lap and let the man sit down. 

I noticed that the man placed his order about fifteen minutes after I did, and I expected he would still be there long after I picked up my prescription. By this point, it was just a normal event, and I didn’t think much about it because we were having fun looking at the photos. 

Five more minutes pass, and I see a young, brown-skinned woman walk from around the counter and approach us. She looks directly at the kids and me, then shifts her eyes toward the white man. I just knew she was going to ask for my name to check if my prescription was ready. Well, that wasn’t the case. She then asks the white gentleman for his last name and instructs him to come to the counter to pick up his prescription. She then nervously asks for my last name, knowing what she has done. I then look at the white gentleman, and he looks at me. We both understand what just happened. I’ll call it the story of my life because this has happened several times, but because of my previous profession in law enforcement, I’ve always been non-confrontational. However, my kids noticed as well.

The man got up from his seat, tried to make small talk, but I guess my eyes looked dismissive, so he kept going. I wanted to say to him, “How does that privilege feel?” But it wasn’t worth it, or so I thought. 

My kids immediately said, “Daddy, we were here first!” I asked, “What do you mean?” My son said it wasn’t fair that he got to go first, since we had been waiting here a long time. This was a teachable moment. My daughter then added, “Yeah, this isn’t fair. Why did she do that?” I tried my best to downplay it, but my kids knew why. My daughter said, “It’s because he’s white, isn’t it?” I explained to her that I had no idea why that young lady called him first, but maybe somewhere in her life, she was taught to judge people based on race, or she did it intentionally. I think it’s the latter because I’ve learned to read facial expressions and body language, and there was no doubt in my mind that race played a part, whether it was intentional or not. Interestingly enough, the young lady’s hair texture and skin tone were similar to my daughter’s, but that didn’t help the situation. By the sound of her accent, I guessed she was either Trinidadian or Guyanese. That’s a discussion for another time. 

I then gathered my kids closer and told them that, in life, they'll likely face situations like this, so they should get used to it. I didn’t want them to get upset because that won’t help them get anywhere. I’m glad they recognized the nuances of life. 

When I approached the counter to pick up my prescription, I looked at her and asked how much it was. I wanted her to save face at my expense, so I paid and left without showing my displeasure. Afterwards, my kids and I went back to my car, but before pulling away, I asked them what they learned. Without hesitation, my son said, “Some people are treated better than others.” I couldn’t disagree.